Overturned

Because this election matters to all of us here on this blog.

Every election matters.

Ritual of Calm Turns to Confusion

I was given a chance through Tryazon's Tryabox program to look at the The Ritual of Dao Small Gift Box. I thought this might be a good chance to see if I could find a product that would make a good gift for some family or close friends since one of the shops that sells it, Ulta, is less than a mile from my house. It is always a bit of a risk for me to try out skin and hair care products because of my allergies and very sensitive skin. However, the Dao set is supposed to promote calmness and

The product is supposed to have white lotus and yi yi ren (an herb) but the scent was very light for every one of the products that I tried. I tried them over the course of three days to see if it caused any negative reactions in my skin or hair, to see if my family or close friends noticed, and to see if it affected my mood. Let's look at each product separately.

The Nourishing Shampoo had no directions so I started with a quarter sized amount in my hand. It sudsed up well but since this gift box did not come with conditioner, I was careful in how I applied it. I have curly hair that can tangle easily so since I turned 40, I've been needing conditioner when I shampoo my hair to make it more manageable. I wasn't sure if I should leave it in my hair or rinse it right away so I treated as I do all my shampooing and left it in while I did a full set of my arm exercises that I have to do 2-4 times every day. The scent is so light that I barely picked up on it but that did make me calm because I could focus on my arms and not on overpowering fragrance. The shampoo rinsed out well. However, by day two, my hair was feeling a bit rougher than normal and it was tangling more easily so I didn't try it a third day.

I washed my body first with my regular body foam to make sure I was applying the Balancing Foaming Shower Gel to clear skin the first time I used it; after that I tried it as I would my regular product to all but my intimate parts. The canister can with no directions so I managed as best I could based on previous experience with bath gels and foams. A lot of the gel came out at first because it was tricky to figure out how to press the top, it was down and back not just straight down. The gel started to foam as soon as it touched my skin as you can see in the photo to the left. It made a lot of foam, actually a bit too much all three days that I used it. Weirdly, the gel let the foam out in tiny amounts after I removed it from the shower to a dry place even when the cap was put back on after being dried off each day. The result is that I worried about how much of the product was being wasted even though I was trying to be careful. However, this worked well on my skin and caused no negative reactions. The very light scent was pleasing to me and my partners.

Lotions and creams are a bit problem for me normally because they can clog my skin, triggering not only allergic reactions but pore problems. Again, this tube had no directions so I used it as I thought was appropriate. I applied the Be Kind to Your Skin Body Cream as sparingly as I could on an selective body parts -- my cheeks on my face and on my left arm only. This way I could compare arms to see if there was difference. This scent is the one that lingered the longest of these first three products that I tried out. It did leave my skin feeling smooth each day that I used it and caused no negative reactions. However, I could definitely feel it on my skin over the course of the day so it isn't as light as I prefer. The amount you see in the photo to the right is enough to cover my entire arm so this product would last a couple of weeks for me, at least.

Finally, the Calming Shower Oil was the newest type of products for me since I've never used shower or bath oils. Luckily this bottle did have directions on how to use it though I had to get out a magnifier to read it. Since it said it could make the shower floor slippery I used it on the days that I knew I'd be washing out our tubs. How calming would it be if I had to add more household to use this product? The amount you can see, two drops on my wet arm covered my entire forearm. This left my skin feeling smoother than the body cream did but the scent was lighter. This didn't cause any negative reactions on my skin. Which would I use? Cream or oil? I'm still not sure since I feel like the cream is completely used when I apply it but I believe the oil partly falls off my body otherwise why woudl there be a risk of my slipping when I apply it?

Confusion came about when I looked for the product to review online and found they did not match.

I was sent the following in a off-cream colored gift box: Balancing Foaming Shower Gel, Nourishing Shampoo, Be Kind to Your Skin Body cream, and Calming Shower Oil. However when I visited the link to review the box on Ulta, the products inside the green gift box included: Foaming Shower Gel, Magic Touch Body Cream, Caring Shower Oil, and Softening Rice Scrub.

The medium gift box's product sizes listed on the Ulta site, meant what I was sent had to be the small.

I looked for the product elsewhere and found a small Ritual of Dao gift box on Amazon and Jet but they matched the Ulta description, not what I was sent. Luckily, Tryazon and Rituals quickly addressed this issue and I was able to review the individual products fairly online where they are sold.

If you want the gift box that I wrote about above, you'll need to visit the Rituals shop online and use this link to get the same product, called THE RITUAL OF DAO Calming Treat. You can find the individual products at Macy's, Ulta, and Lord & Taylor stores.

Check out the video unboxing below if you like, too.

No! Voting Isn't the Minimum Voters Can Do!

Note: This started as a rant on FB then expanded as I worked through why belittlement of voting in the USA pisses me off so much.
To the folks saying that voting is the minimum and we need to expect more all the time from American citizens.

Your Privilege is Showing!

Some American adults struggle to find time to go vote. They might be juggling multiple jobs. They might have bosses who threaten their jobs if they want to take off time to vote. They may struggle to find transportation to voting polls. They may struggle to find childcare so that they can rush from the polls to work. Sometimes the lines are so long to vote that not everyone can take those hours off to just wait even if they could do it over a lunch break (giving up their lunch that day in the process). Going early? Some folks have long commutes or rely on mass transit that has a set schedule, they might not be able to get their early or right before the polls close.

Some American adults are misinformed about their rights to vote. Some of this is on purpose like giving people the wrong dates, times, and locations. Schools cut education programs about how government works so it is easier and easier to be misinformed. Not understanding how government works or the parts of government on the local, county, state, and federal level, it is easy to overlook the impact it has on their lives.

Some is cultural misinformation like jokes and memes belittling democracies and elections. False comparisons about parties or too loose use of or nitpicking about language used to describe the system of governance makes it all seem like an entity beyond them. It can feel overwhelming or tiring or frustrating to try and sort it all out.

Some American adults are targeted and made afraid to vote. They walk out to their car in the morning to discover flyers "warning" them about police being at the polls. Some of them find graffiti on their property sending silent but clear messages that they are being watched. Some of them have seen neighbors with guns at their sides right outside their polling locations. Those Americans may feel like choosing to vote is risking their lives.

Some American adults have been targeted at the polls. They have had to bring extra paperwork or get a Party advocate to speak up for them. Their neighborhoods have lost polls sites or those sites have been moved into areas where they are made to feel unsafe either on purpose or by the surroundings. It gets tiring fast to feel afraid when you go vote.

Beyond having numerous voting sites, where they are and how they are laid out matters. Just because your eyesight is weak, or you can't hear, or you have difficulty moving doesn't mean you've lost your right to vote but for some American adults it sure makes it a challenge to vote.

Some American adults have been led to believe it doesn't matter. They are constantly bombarded by the idea of the lesser of two evils, or that the corporations run everything, or that democracy is dead, or that it is too gerrymandered to matter where they live. They are told that if they vote this way someone else will vote the opposite so the votes will just cancel anyway. Some of these messages are passed from friend to friend or parent to child, but a lot is shown via mass media. Campaign spend tons of money to spread misinformation about others and to clean up their own messages. Yes, all that information can feel like too much to deal with.

Some American adults get turned off by all the "politics" that they associate with yelling and screaming or greed. They've never heard from nor seen a government official except when it was about taxes.

Some American adults have been raised to think that they must hold out for the "best" or someone who agrees with them 100%. Others are raised to focus on one or two single issues and to ignore any evidence that a candidate might be the worse or best choice on the other dozens of issues out there.

Perhaps as many as 25% of the eligible voting population is NOT even registered (I found different numbers but all were around that national level). We barely get a majority of registered voters out in the Federal presidential elections every four years. Don't get me started on the low turnout for "off-season" elections.

It turns out that for sizable numbers of American adults, voting is not easy, it is not the minimum that they can do because it is a challenge to even do once.

Those of us who do vote in every election... hurray for us! What are we doing to empower our sister and brother Americans?

Those of us who can do more like protest, contact our elected officials, run for office, donate money, help out a campaign, or aid a group that does these things... hurray for us!

But if we turn around and belittle the struggle of our sisters and brothers who also have the right to vote but feel like they can't, we also become the ones standing in their way.

So when I'm asking folks to vote, reminding people to vote, I'm also out there helping get people to the polls. I'm out their contacting my government officials about voting rights. I'm out there weighing voting rights in my decisions about who to vote for.

I'm not asking for the minimum activity from the non-voters.

I'm reminding us with enough privilege that we can and do vote regularly to remember to keep encouraging, keep empowering, and keep fighting for the our sister and brother Americans right to vote, too.

Illustrated Sexual Classic

As a former college instructor, I learned through pedagogical courses and experience that people learn in different ways. While models may suggest that you can be a physical learner or a visual learner or one of several other types what I observed when teaching and from myself is that generally we learn best in multiple ways. The newest edition of Janet W. Hardy's The Sexually Dominant Woman: an illustrated guide for nervous beginners is a mixture of the visual and the verbal with the options of solitary or social tossed into the mix. I think this makes the book very inviting and useful to newcomers to the concept of women in the sexual lead. I've also taught numerous classes about BDSM and femdom relationships and I know that kinky folks still hunger for information particularly if they are not living in a big city where organizations may exist who can provide hands-on and mentorship. Other people simply don't to explore outside of a committed relationship or they may be shy. A book like this can provide a good resources for all of these folks who are curious about female top dynamics. I was sent a free copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

I have three versions of this book.

The first was a gift from my husband when we still did kink together before we figured out that our interests didn't overlap enough to really make it enjoyable.

The second I got because I had women (and some men) approaching me to be a mentor and I wanted to read the newer version before recommending it.

This 25th anniversary edition has made the text more inclusive and the images are some of the most diverse and reflective of the kink community that I have seen in any book about BDSM. I took a photo of a two-page section just to give you an example; I picked randomly.

I love the fact that multiple first scenarios are presented instead of the starter scene from the first edition. I also love that other books that you might find useful are highlight both in the text and at the end of the book. I will admit I was disappointed not to see my own book, At Her Feet, mentioned since it is from the same publisher, but currently it is only available as an ebook and an audiobook.

Some people might complain that the book is too focused on safety but I did not feel that way. This is a book directed toward newbies not experienced people. You know what? some of us folks who have been doing this for decades still take safety quite seriously and am grateful we had those cautious drilled into us years back. I think this is a great introductory book and I hope if you are looking for last minute gifts for the holidays or for Valentine's Day in 2019, you will consider this book.

9 Examples of Food Porn Discrimination

I test cookbooks on a fairly regular basis. I am offered cookbooks through Amazon Vine or I am sent them directly by publishers or authors. I probably average a cookbook once every two months. That's likely less than blogs which focus on cookbook testing but since I'm generally not given funds to buy ingredients or the ingredients to test out the recipes, I really can't afford to be trying out new recipes every single week. It is my economic reality that limits what I can review either for reviews on online bookstores, for publisher or author blogs, and of course for my primary blog, The Chocolate Cult. I often think "Can I afford to test these recipes?" or "What can I find on sale that might let me test these recipes?" Then I realized, my economic considerations are minor compared to many others. Today I want to share my thoughts about what I'm calling Food Porn Discrimination.

So many people love to look at food that the concept of "food porn" was developed. The idea of "foodpornography" seems to date by to the 1978 Frank Chin story "Railroad Standard Time" while "food pornography" was expanded upon by Rosalind Coward in her 1984 book Female Desire.  The basic idea is that food and sexual desire are connected. Of course seeing any type of desire as sexual has a much longer history in the Western World.

Today, we generally use the terms "food pornography" or "food porn" to refer to the great love people show online for shared photos of food (made or bought) and the focus on using such photos in media. Indeed, staging is very common at all levels of food photography from the average person taking a quick pic in a dark restaurant to the publishing of a cookbook spending thousands to have the images just so for the recipes or to accompany text.

I pay attention to the photography myself for The Chocolate Cult or my account on Instagram even though I won't spend money to get that image because I'm not selling products directly to anyone.

There isn't anything wrong with these beautiful images of food. Studies have shown that humans and animals in general may be drawn to lovely displays or bright colors of food. This is true for what we see right in front of us, in a still photograph, or a video we watch. 1, 2, and 3.

With internet access becoming more and more affordable, it becomes possible for the masses to share in the desire of food. However, with the loss of certain federal rules about the Internet we may be about to see a deep divide in terms of what people can access online. But that divide has been part of food porn for a while now with some online recipe sites or magazine requiring a subscription to get full access. There are a lot of free recipe sites out there and companies who sell food generally put out their sites for free, so you can get a lot of decent food porn for nothing or very little.

Print cookbooks are another matter. I have friends who collect cookbooks and one of our writers for this blog is a food historian. The type and number of images in cookbooks has skyrocketed. Recently I shared two books that I'm slowly working my way through to review with a friend of mine. She immediately said "This is food porn. This is, too." Books cost money and with so many cookbooks now trying to have a photo for very recipe they can be very pricy. You can try your public library if you are lucky enough to have access to one but of course you can't keep those (or you shouldn't). If you want to buy them, be willing to spend between $25 and $50 on average.

If you want vintage cookbooks these can cost thousands of dollars! Yikes!

Ebooks might seem like a good alternative if price is an issue. However many ebooks now cost the same as a paperback book and most cookbooks come out in a hardcover format. Sometimes I will accept an ecookbook but the quality is very hit and miss and so much of the layout is dependent upon the program the publisher used for the book. If it is for a Kindle, you have to use a Kindle for example. Even then some of the ecookbooks I've looked at have failed to line up the photo of a recipe properly and it just looks weird or even distasteful. Distasteful is the last thing you want in your food porn.

The photos in many cookbooks or professional online sites are lovely but can I get my attempts at those recipes to look like that? Usually not.

Sometimes this is a matter of recipe quality. The more cookbook testing I do, the easier it is for me to spot a poorly written recipe. But sometimes you don't realize that some detail is missing until it all goes bad. At other times the disappointment comes from your skills or your circumstances.

Beyond making food, your food porn desires may be a struggle because what you or a loved one sees and wants may not be available to you for a variety of reasons.

Food porn should make you feel good not horrible. The entire point of pornography of any type was to get return consumers afterall and who honestly wants to go back to have their self-esteem stomped without some pleasurable pay off?

Let's look at some of the reasons I believe that there is a bias in the world of food porn.

Examples of Food Porn Discrimination

1. You have not had the time or money to get the training required to make a recipe.

Schools are still teaching home economics even though the demise of this is bemoaned in a number of articles over the past few years. The number of courses taught and at what grade depends on the location of your schools. Formal classes to teach cooking dates back at at least the 19th century in the USA. None of these are free, not really, even if you personally aren't paying a fee, the money probably comes out of your taxes. So if you live in a school system that is poor or too urban, you may not have had a chance to learn. Not just that but honestly how many of you who did take home economics in junior high or high school have kept up the skills that you learned?

Let's say that you can't remember what you learned or you simply didn't learn that in school, getting the training as an adult isn't going to a taxes paid for proposition. Sure you might be able to find them at the community college or a program at your town does every year or every half year but again that will cost money. Beyond money it costs time. For many people barely making ends meet, they have neither time nor money and thus the skills needed to produce the food they admire.

2. You have not had the money to buy the gadgets and small appliances used in the recipes.

Some items are small and relatively inexpensive but many times when I'm looking through a cookbook or recipes online a tool will be mentioned that I don't have. Do I run out and find it? Hell, no! But many cookbooks include lists of where you can find all those gadgets and tools just in case you want to. Sometimes it isn't a matter of want but ability. Here on The Chocolate Cult I am sent such items from time to time so over the years I have been able to expand the recipes I can try based on having more tools at my disposal but I still run into the next problem.

3. You do not have the money to have a kitchen big enough to store all those gadgets and appliances used in recipes.

I subscribe to a housing porn email list because I love to dream about houses that my parents couldn't have afforded and which I am unlikely to be able to afford. The amount of kitchen you can get for your buck varies a great deal. You don't just need countertops to work on, I use my dining room table for a lot of things, but you do need places to store everything. That means drawers, shelves, cabinets, and even freezers and refrigerators. If your refrigerator-freezer unit can basically hold a few cubic feet of items, you aren't make large sheet cakes or storing food you found on sale in the freezer.

4. You do not have the time to spend on all the steps of the food prep for a recipe.

This gets us back to the problem in #1 -- Time. Recently I've been working on some cookbook reviews that really hit me with how much time is involved. Actually hands on work might be only an hour or two (and that could be a problem for some of you) but the amount of time I have to schedule the steps over can span anywhere from 12 to 24 hours. These are basically weekend recipes but a lot of folks work weekends or have other things they'd like to do rather than make a loaf of bread or a casserole. If you do, you are probably a stay-at-home spouse in an upper middle class home.  Less than 30% of American women (and far fewer men) fit into the stay-at-home part of this equation and a good chunk of those are not upper middle class but instead simply can't afford to pay for childcare until their kids are much older.

5. You may have children and/or pets that would make some of those food prep steps challenging if not impossible.

Now imagine that you personally do have that much time that you can plan out and see through the steps. What if you have kids or pets? Is there a safe place to store your sourdough starter without a risk of it getting knocked down? Will you have enough quiet to make that souffle? What about stirring constantly for 10 minutes or 20 minutes or longer? There's a reason why fancy dishes and time consuming courses were created in the kitchens of the wealthy. They had servants or slaves (or both) who had nothing else to do other than focus on that stovetop, the oven, or that countertop unless they wanted to be punished or not be paid.

6. You may not have time to go shopping for some of the ingredients either because of your work schedule or the distance to the types of shops where you can buy such products.

What if you are single, childless/petless, and you do have the resources like the money and time to put into recipes you might still face a struggle to find the ingredients Perhaps you live in a food desert where your store options are limited. This isn't just a problem for poor urban communities either. Rural communities are finding that grocery stores are moving out or being displaced by massive chains. Will you be able to find that particular type of olive a recipe calls for? What about a certain percentage of chocolate? How sure are you of your skills to substitute?

Yes, with grocery delivery services and places like Amazon or speciality shops online you can get get a lot more ingredients that you might be able to find in your hometown stores.

7. You may not have the money to spend on some of the ingredients even if you can find them.

You find the ingredients you need to recreate that lovely dish you saw on Instagram. Can you afford to order them? Will you be home when the mail carrier arrives? Not only do you pay for the food but you pay for the shipping. You might think that you shipping in free but you have to buy a certain amount or pay an annual membership fee. Those requirements do limit who can use these services.

8. You don't have the money to waste on food should the recipe not be fully vetted before it appears online or in a cookbook.

I grew up in a working class family. While some of you may have heard of the "eat what's on your plate because there are children starving in X" I heard "if you put it on your plate you must eat it." Why? If I didn't want it, my mother would save it for another meal either another dinner or a lunch or even breakfast, possibly even a lunchbox. But once it was on my plate, once I'd touched it, was it safe to save? They were poor but not so poor that she was willing to take that risk. However if she tried a recipe and it didn't work, we all just sucked it up and at it anyway no matter how many meals it might take.

I still do that. I'm loathe to throw out food. Collectively Americans waste more food than any other nation in the world. Individually this can average out to 30% of the calories we buy wasted. Think of how much money that might be? Some of us simply cannot justify tossing out that loaf of bread that didn't turn out right or that can of special mushrooms we bought when it turns out no one liked that recipe but one person.

9. You don't have money to purchase something as lovely to show your affection or respect for someone even after they have expressed a clear interest in that item.

Perhaps you know you can't cook that wonderful dish you saw or that your lover or kid told you about. You can always buy it, right? That depends who what you see.

If a see an image from a restaurant in our neighborhood or from a shop near us that is within our budget, sure I can hop out and get that. If it's for a special occasion, I m likely to order it or get it for a person I care about.

But what if it is a fancy meal at a restaurant halfway around the world? Do I feel bad about that or can I just enjoy the image? I hope most of us can just enjoy the image but that might always be the case.

Hopefully most of us aren't in the types of relationships where our partner/kids/family would berate us for not being able to buy that fancy food but again that isn't always the case.

Food is necessary to live but it is also very tightly connected to our self-image and the image others of about us.

Is there a way out of this food porn discrimination? Leave a comment with your ideas.

Self-Care and Beauty Care, Is it De-stressing?

Thanksgiving was yesterday and for many of us several winter/summer holidays are fast approaching. For women this can be a particularly stressful time. I know I grew up in a household where my mother was the primary social calendar keeper and the social focus for our immediate family. I grew up with that as my role model so it is not surprising that I am the Chief Communications Officer of our family starship (as we geeks like to say).

Stress from trying to manage different invitations to holiday parties from work, volunteer organizations, friends, family, and neighbors.

Stress from working on our own parties and trying to figure out who we can not invite without seeming like aholes.

Stress from all the holiday greetings everyone who doesn't live in our town will expect and then stress from keeping track of what we get because we don't hear back from you for three years, we aren't sending you a holiday card (the hubby declares).

4 Kroger Spa Line Products

One way we are told to lessen stress is to delegate to others and to take care of ourselves. Taking care of ourselves can involve a lot of things but many of them are physical. I'm part of the MyMagazineSharing Network through Kroger and I was sent four of their store brand "spa line" products for free in exchange for sharing my experiences about them in a fair way. I'm not a big spa person, I've been to a spa once in my lifetime. I'm not a big make-up user and the only time I try fancy or expensive skin care products is when I'm sent them to review. Today I want to share what my experience was with these products.



I started with the Bright Under Eye Care treatment because I've been very tired from pain and then surprise! I caught a virus from someone in my household. I was concerned my eyes might look extra tired or baggy. First I thought there might be two treatments when I opened the package because the pads look large.

Brighten Under Eye Care Pads, Kroger Spa Line

Then I put them on and don't these look HUGE? I don't have either a small or large face, for my body it is average sized but look how large these pads are. They tingled a bit and were cool when I put them on for the full 20 minutes. They came off easily and I gently patted the area underneath but my skin had soaked up most of the solution on the pads. The area under my eyes looked red when I took them off so I let my skin be for half an hour and my skin and eyes were fine. If this product helped under eyes then I guess I didn't have anything wrong with mine at all the day I tried this.

Are these pads huge? Kroger Spa Line

Then I tried the facial masks and these were literally my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th facial masks I have ever used in my life. These were very different from the first mask I used. These are fully formed face shaped sheets and that is where the big problems lie. Let's look at the first one.

Note how the size and placement of the sheet does not match my face at all. It would not smooth down, it tried to cover my eyebrows (no!), and it hung too low on my chin. To top that off this Exfoliate felt burning after a few minutes but I toughed it out for the full twenty minutes. Oddly the directions said to "gently pat" in the remaining product... ah, no! Exfoliating means that  you should be removing dead skin to reveal and promote newer skin. In fact, every one of the facial sheet mask had the identical directions for every step which makes no sense when each is supposed to do something different for your face.

I could try cutting the mask into pieces and applying it that way but I'm not being paid to test these out and that would take as much if not more time than applying a mask with just a semi-liquid product. That's adding more time and more work to an already stressful time of year for many of us.

For me this Spa Line from Kroger is a failure.

Looking at Clever Creations for Christmas

clever creations logo

Sometimes I get things to test out and review that don't fit into my blog, The Chocolate Cult, and when that happens I take advantage of this shared blog to let you all know what I think about a product(s) I was sent. It isn't even Thanksgiving yet and I've been sent 6 decorations for Christmas though some of these as you will see could work for more generic winter holidays. I received three nutcrackers -- a Santa Skiing Nutcracker, a Chubby Traditional King Nutcracker, and a Snow Queen Nutcracker, and three pickle ornaments. I'll tell you about each of these in this review. I got these 6 items via the Tryazon program from Clever Creations to test and write about it on various social media. No other form of compensation was received in exchange for my honest opinions.

Clever Creations Trio of Christmas Pickles

Let's start with the Christmas Pickles. My husband and I got one from his parents soon after we moved into our house because we had room for a full sized tree there. That ornament was a tradition his father's family followed so we started using it during our annual holiday party but in a different way. We send everyone who wants to play downstairs with one of us, then the other of us puts the pickle ornament on the tree. Those who are playing then all come up stairs and the first one to find the pickle gets a prize. I think this year, we could give the first three people to find it a pickle ornament of their own. The pickles themselves are fine, much brighter green than the heirloom ornament my in-laws gave us. The company claims it is shatterproof but I couldn't find a description of what is is made out of and I didn't want to throw one on the floor to test out the claim. I can say that they are lighter weight than the other pickle ornament that we have which is made from glass. The big negative is the silver strings that came with these, there were six strings in all and three of them were frayed at one end. I tried to tie them off but the material was slippery and my knots didn't stay. I recommend an old-fashioned metal hook like we use with our glass pickle.

Chubby Traditional Nutcracker King

I'm going to look at the nutcrackers in increasing size so we'll start with the Chubby Styles Traditional King Nutcracker. This little guy is cute! His mouth opens and closely well though honestly I doubt he is strong enough to crack nuts. Wood is great but I prefer metal for a functional nutcracker. He measures  6.25" x 3.25" x 2.75" and he comes in a small box that I labeled so I can use it to store him. He reminds me of the traditional nutcracker design from the ballet though he has a drum which I do not normally associate with the king figure. No, the drum and the arms/hands do not move.

Snow Queen Nutcracker

The next two are in theory the same height but the hats make all the difference. The Traditional Snow Queen Nutcrackeris the first female nutcracker I have seen for Christmas. She measures  14" x 3.33" x 3.66" and stands on a very glittery base. She came with broken pieces of styrofoam in her box and that was a bit annoying to keep discovery everyone as I unpacked and repacked her up. She reminds me of our stuffed Celestial Santas who is in blue and silver. He's packed away right now because it is too early to decorate for Christmas but I'll think about putting them next to each other when I do decorate after Thanksgiving. Her hair is very curly and it was entwined in the front. Oddly she is a nutcracker but the open is on her chest promoting my hubby to revert to a 12-year old boy and exclaim "She had nutcracking boobs!". The lever is under her cape so aside from the wood worry as strong enough to crack open nuts, it is more effort to access that movable part. The wand can be turned a bit but everything else is static about her. When I looked closely at her head I noticed that the crown is above the plaited hair line so it looks less elegant up close than at a distance.

Santa Skiing Nutcracker

The final nutcracker is just fun looking. The Skiing Santa Nutcracker is also 14 inches tall but his hat is an extra 4 inches to the figure and that matters depending on where you might want to place him. His other measurements are 3.25" x 5" so he takes up more horizontal space on a shelf. The hat has a wire in it so you can bent it to pose it. Up straight like you see in the photo or bending down to one side, or frontward, or backwards even. Other than the hat no other part is movable. Nothing is removable either so you don't' have to worry about losing parts of it. His mouth opens using an easy access lever in the back but again I wouldn't use him to crack actually nuts.

The Clever Creations nutcrackers are going to join our Christmas decorations assuming I can find space for them in our existing boxes. If I can't I guess they might replace older decorations or be given as prizes at our party. Honestly we don't put up Christmas decorations until after Thanksgiving. These are our Thanksgiving decorations. And no, we don't need more of these, companies, but chocolate for the other blog would be very welcomed!



Do you have any Clever Creations nutcrackers? Does you family have a pickle deocration?

Experimenting with Burgers 4

The final of the four burger meals I'm exploring using Kroger's brand Private Selection for most of the ingredients. This time the burger was turkey breast from Honeysuckle White (coupon and sale), the Private Selection Provolone Sliced Cheese (coupon and sale), and the Private Selection Lemon Tarragon Mustard. I'm the only one in my family to try the mustard because everyone else here hates mustard unless it is just an ingredient in a must bigger recipe; they had more of the Green Chile rub I was sent. We each picked our favorite of the three varieties of chips and had those as well. To check out the ingredients I used in this post look here. I was sent products from the Kroger store brand called Private Selection for free in exchange for testing and writing about my experience with these products. I received a bag of Texas Inspired BBQ Kettle Potato Chips and a can of Green Chile Ranch Seasoning Rub from MyMagazine, a Kroger program. I was also sent a lot of coupons for several products in the Private Selection line and from Kroger to use myself and also to share.

I really liked this mustard but it was pretty intense at the serving size of 1 teaspoon; I'd probably use about half of that in the future. The provolone cheese was what I expect from provolone but it is a much thicker slice than the reduced fat cheese we normally buy and use.

Experimenting with Burgers 3

Now for the third of the four burger meals I'm exploring using Kroger's brand Private Selection for most of the ingredients. This time we're using Simple Truth 80% Lean Natural Ground Beef (coupon), Private Selection Truffle Aioli Sauce (coupon), Private Selection Muenster Sliced Cheese (coupon), and Private Selection Carolina Inspired BBQ Kettle Potato Chips.  To check out the ingredients I used in this post look here. This is the most calorie intensive burger meal yet because of the beef but also the aioli Sauce and I only used a teaspoon of it on my burger. I was sent products from the Kroger store brand called Private Selection for free in exchange for testing and writing about my experience with these products. I received a bag of Texas Inspired BBQ Kettle Potato Chips and a can of Green Chile Ranch Seasoning Rub from MyMagazine, a Kroger program. I was also sent a lot of coupons for several products in the Private Selection line and from Kroger to use myself and also to share.

I'm not a fan at all of this meat. 80% lean results in very small burgers, very greasy burgers, and frankly too calorie heavy burgers. The sauce was good but there is no way I would want more than 1/3 of a serving of it. The munster cheese was the big burger winner for this meal, it was smooth and melted just enough. The chips were a very good balance of sweet and tangy, not spicy at all. These are my favorite chips of the three varieties I bought on sale and with coupons.

Experimenting with Burgers 2

Continuing with the second of the four burger meals I'm exploring using Kroger's brand Private Selection for most of the ingredients. To check out the ingredients I used in this post look here. Today's second burger experiment uses the Private Selection Green Chile Ranch seasoning rub (received free), Private Selection Sweet Southern Heat BBQ Kettle Chips (coupon used), Private Selection Mozzarella Sliced Cheese (coupon), and Perdue Simply Smart Fresh Ground Chicken (coupon used). The resulting burger might be a bit hot as in spicy so this is really an experiment for me because I'm NOT a spicy lover at all. I was sent two products from the Kroger store brand called Private Selection for free in exchange for testing and writing about my experience with these products. I received a free bag of Texas Inspired BBQ Kettle Potato Chips and a free can of Green Chile Ranch Seasoning Rub through MyMagazine, a Kroger program. I was also sent a lot of coupons for several products in the Private Selection line and from Kroger to use myself and also to share.

Here's the resulting burger and chips meal made with 92% lean ground chicken, a smidgen (I have measuring spoons for that amount) of the seasoning rub on each side of the burgers while they cooked, one slice of cheese, and the kettle chips. Those ingredients I was sent (seasoning) or bought using coupons and Kroger sales, too. The sandwich thin was also on sale but no coupon.

Chicken breast burger with green chile ranch seasoning

The seasoning was quite visible against the whiteness of the chicken breast burgers. The flavor of the burger was great, the seasoning wasn't as intense as I feared, in fact, my hubby said to put more on his the next time I use it.. The cheese was creamy and smooth. The chips were sweet and certainly had a spicy kick to them but they weren't vinegary at all so I was pleased. Compared to experiment #1, this meal was tastier and better liked by my entire family.

Experimenting with Burgers 1

Normally I write about food not here on this shared blog but on my main blog, The Chocolate Cult. However, I was sent some products and coupons that had nothing to do with chocolate in any form so I thought I'd share the results of testing these products on this blog. I plan to try out the products with four different types of burgers - pork, beef, chicken, and turkey -- with different types of potato chips, condiments, and cheeses, all purchased using the coupons I was sent. Most of the products were also on sale when I bought them so I saved quite a good amount. To check out the ingredients I used in this post look here. I was sent products from the Kroger store brand called Private Selection for free in exchange for testing and writing about my experience with these products. I received a bag of Texas Inspired BBQ Kettle Potato Chips and a can of Green Chile Ranch Seasoning Rub from MyMagazine, a Kroger program. I was also sent a lot of coupons for several products in the Private Selection line and from Kroger to use myself and also to share.

Before I get to my first burger testing, let me show you all that I purchased using these coupons.

The fourth variety I found in my local Kroger wasn't one I think my family would like so I got two varieties using coupons and, of course, the one I was sent.

I sent the rub but I also bought three other condiments using the coupons. I'm a bit worried about the spiciness of Green Chili Ranch rub but I'll pair it with ground chicken in my next experiment as the box suggests. I can use these other condiments with other burgers easily.

Four types of meat for burgers so I'll pair them with four varieties of Private Selection cheese slices from the Kroger deli.

Finally I got some mushrooms for my menfolk to try out on any of the burgers. I picked a type I thought they'd both like, pre-sliced for ease of putting on a burger.

Pork Burger, Swiss, Texas BBQ Chips, Memphis BBQ Sauce

Now that I've laid out what I bought, let's look at the first experiment using Texas Inspired BBQ Kettle Chips, ground pork, Swiss cheese, and Memphis Inspired BBQ Sauce. I used a sandwich slim for all of the burgers for a balance of calories and nutrition.

I did not like the Texas Inspired BBQ chips -- very vinegary!

The Swiss cheese was excellent, thickly cut, 80 calories a slice.

The BBQ Sauce was slightly sweet and went well with the pork burger.


#FireUpTheFlavor, #PrivateSelection, #FreeSamp

Book Review: Wild Licks by Cecilia Tan

Since I reviewed my publisher's last book in her "The Secrets of a Rock Star" series it seemed appropriate to look at book two in that series as well. Wild Licks (Secrets of a Rock Star) follows two characters we met in "Taking the Lead" -- Gwen Hamilton, the sister of Ricki, and Mal Kennealy, the guitarist for The Rough, the rock band at the center of the series. Yes, we do get a bit more of Ricki and Axel but they are minor yet important characters in this novel. And I do use the word novel on purpose because this isn't soft porn, this isn't an one-handed masterbation toy.  This is a fully developed story with a lot of very intense sex. It also can be read without reading book one in the series though I think you'll get more from it if you have read the first book.

The Hamilton sisters are from a powerful Hollywood family, the type of power that is behind the scenes not in front of the camera most of the time. While I liked Ricki okay in the first book, Gwen is much more what I want a sexy, female character to be. Sure there are moments of self reflection and doubt, but right from the start it seems clear that Gwen has a greater understanding of what turns her on and acceptance of the full range of her desires. In a break with her family's traditional power, Gwen wants to become an actress but based on her talent (or lack thereof) not her family name. Using her acting skills and her access to costumes and makeup, she easily plays roles in the joint fantasies that Mal and her create. These fantasies are both sexually and emotionally described making this a not-safe-for-work read. Gwen stands up for herself when things fall apart as they always do in the romance genre. Ricki didn't cry over her man either but Gwen seemed more self-reliant to me, able to adapt and make changes with less displayed sorrow. However, Gwen isn't perfect. She misrepresents herself the first time she meets Mal and continues to do so even after she starts "dating" him as a publicity stunt. Lying, deceiving, those are not qualities of a good submissive or masochist, let alone of a good partner. However, we can sort of understand why she does it and continues to do it. Fulfilling fantasies can be intoxicating and unfortunately can also lead to misjudgements and miscommunications.

On the other hand, I'm not as big of a fan of Mal as I was of Axel. As lead singer of The Rough, Axel always had a public persona to think of but his time with Ricki seemed to free him in very positive ways, ways that frightened him at times but he was always relatable. Mal just seems angry and cold, I'm not sure I'd trust a submissive or masochistic friend or relative of mine with him. If Gwen had asked me, I'd have told her to run not walk away from that mess. Mal seems to just go with his desires and fantasies first and foremost without thinking every possibility through which leads to some danger. Then he beats himself up, talks himself down, and labels what he wants and desires in the most negative terms. That can only lead to problems which Cecilia Tan knows full well. She shows this repeatedly but most shockingly when Mal refuse to take Gwen and himself to a hospital as he should. Mal isn't a good top in my book but, sadly, it is a reflection of much of what can happen in kink or vanilla sex when you don't slow down and think a bit. I did feel some sympathy for Mal because we learn more about his previous serious kinky relationship. I had a partner who pushed me too far and wouldn't accept my limits as the dominant/top but that pales in comparison to what Mal went through. However, I didn't torture myself by saying "never again" and locking my heart up, I didn't refuse to provide aftercare for my partners, and I sure as heck didn't accept any damn description of myself as a monster. My sympathy ended for Mal when he repeatedly refuses to see himself for a messed up man in need of help and continued to cling to his monster identity.

From book one, the kinky sex scenes are intense and they are not for the weak hearted nor are they models you should follow unless you've had some real-life mentoring and experience. If you know a bit about BDSM, then you'll understand when I say that this novel has a ton of edge play in it and if you are not comfortable reading that sort of thing, this book will be a challenge for you. If you don't know much about edge play, let me clarify and say there is intense roleplaying that lasts days and nights, knives, odd object insertions, and fire. The intensity isn't only in the sex scenes. Mal is messed up from his childhood, his past relationships, and he admits he is trying to be emotionally distant. He says, thinks, and does a few things that made me want to put him over my knee and beat his ass and not in a consensual way.

I know that in romances there is this duty for the woman to help the man come to terms with his emotions but in "Taking the Lead" I didn't feel that was the case. While there was some miscommunications and misunderstandings, I never felt like Axel was emotionally stunted. Mal is not only emotionally stunted but frankly a crap communicator who hides behind the title "sadist" instead of accepting responsibility as a top. He is also self loathing and that was a big turn off to me. Frankly I think Mal needs therapy and a lot of it.

I don't know if this is a problem with word counts and publisher but the story jumps suddenly from Gwen and Mal realizing they will continue to be drawn to each other to everything being great. No mention of therapy, no mention of continued struggles that would be happening, just BOOM things are great. For Ricki and Axel I could believe that, they didn't have any major emotional traumas but that isn't true for Mal and by extension it won't be true for Gwen. Even a couple of sentences in the epilogue acknowledging the weight of the struggle that couple will face would have made a world of difference to the story and not spoiled the happy ending all these romances demand.

If you read "Taking the Lead" and loved it, you'll want to get the second book in the series, too. If you follow this link you'll be able to do that. If you like, please a review of it because as an author myself, I can tell you that doing so, means a great deal to the author and to the publisher. If you want quality romance, quality kink, then you need to show us that you want by buying and speaking out about it

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Book Review: Taking the Lead by Cecilia Tan

For folks who know me, I am not attracted in any fashion to the stereotypical romance or even the common man-in-charge idea. In fact, most romances leave me cold, so for any author who writes romance or any work of fiction with the maledom/femalesub orientation to keep me interested, that author has to have serious storytelling skills. Does Cecilia Tan have those skills in her new book, "Taking the Lead?" Let's find out. I will try not to include too many spoilers but just give you enough information to help you make a decision about whether or not to buy this novel. Note, though, that I will discuss some events and activities that might be considered edgy for some people – edgy beyond just BDSM, that is.

WARNING: There may be spoilers in my review so don't read further if you can't handle a few details being revealed.

"Taking the Lead" is book one in a three-book series called "The Secrets of a Rock Star." These are contemporary BDSM romances, written by an award-winning romance and BDSM author and publisher; that alone might make you want to check out the book, but my reasons are more personal. Cecilia Tan bought my first for-pay piece of fiction, and more recently she took a chance and published my "Beyond the Softness of His Fur" trilogy. I've met her in person a few times and even shared a hotel room with her at Frolicon several years back. I want to assure you all, though, that I'll treat this book as I would any I'm sent to review; I play no favorites.

Frolicon 2010

This book is told in first-person, from two viewpoints. Ricki Hamilton is the daughter and heir of a powerful Hollywood family. They aren't famous actors; they're the movers and shakers, the wealthy elite who actually run the industry and the social circles of Hollywood. After her grandfather's death, Ricki and her sister Gwen must fulfill several conditions of his will in order to inherit. The one that Ricki dislikes the most is running the secret sex club that her grandfather hosted in his basement. The letters "BDSM" are tossed around at the club, but there are some issues of consent and secrecy that may seem very unusual for folks into the Scene today. The world of kinky sex used to be secretive like this, and probably still is in some locations or for some people; it was also a world where consent wasn't as widely championed either. I'll get back to that issue later. Ricki agrees to the terms of the will because she wants to make movies, and she wants to be a force in popular media, but to do that, she'll need the family money.

The other main character is Axel Hawke, the lead singer for a band called "The Rough." He seems to be a confusing man at first, less in control of his life than many "alpha male" characters in current romances. I can say firsthand that people who are dominant in the bedroom – heck, even just in their personality – often just have to follow the lead of those with positions of authority above them. Unless you are old and have a ton of experience, you have to work your way up, regardless of personality or sexual orientation. Axel follows the lead of their band manager and publicist because it gets him what he wants: fame, and the possibility of more fame. For Axel, his dominance really seems to be 1) sexual in nature and 2) something I'd call "service topping." While he certainly can be aggressive and in-charge, it's also very clear that he cares right from the first moment we meet him. Given that alpha males are not my type, this made him more interesting to me, as well as more realistic.

One of the old tropes of romance is "hate at first sight," but Tan rejects this cliché. When Ricki and Axel meet in a limo on the way to the Grammys, they're both immediately attracted to one another, even though they both have other dates and are both cognizant of this fact. Even at the lowest point in their later relationship, hate, fear of the other, and anger toward the other, never really arise. Ricki has her own past and her own conflicted feelings about enjoying a more bottom role in the bedroom, but I never got that old "hate turns to love" or "fear turns to desire" vibe from this book. Because of this, their developing love feels both honest and possible, not just because you want to buy into the fantasy but because it makes sense.

There are several actions in the book that might offend some readers or simply turn them off. Without giving away too much plot, let me discuss these. Fairly early in the book there is a shaving scene that seemed a bit fast to me, but I can understand that in romance issues of negotiation can seem tedious to the reader. It is written in a very sensitive and sexy fashion, so unless sharps are a limit, I think most readers should be able to appreciate it.

There are two kidnappings in the book. The first is a misdirected publicity stunt that allows Axel and Ricki to explore their mutual attraction. It is fun and counts as "kidnapping" only by the loosest definition. At no time did it seem like anyone would cross the line. The partners were going with the flow, trying out new things, and checking in with each other.

The second kidnapping is after Ricki breaks up with Axel; it is an honest-to-goodness kidnapping that immediately turned me off, so much so that for the rest of the book I simply could not get aroused. The kidnapping seems motivated by a sudden, private reaction to being dumped, driven by what seems to be anger. Now, a safeword is clarified, and I believe we are supposed to understand that Ricki believes her use of that safeword will be respected, turning a real kidnapping into a hot scene. In the past I've planned and carried out a kidnapping for a submissive partner of mine. The big difference between that and this, the key difference for me, is that at that time he was my partner, he trusted me, and we had a relationship. That is not the case at this point in this book. Again, I know that issues of consent and negotiation aren't "hot" for a lot of romance readers, but it is a big deal to me personally.

Parental death and alcohol abuse are central to Ricki's background, and that might be uncomfortable for some readers. I think this background made Ricki more understandable, though. I also think the topics were addressed in a careful but not lingering fashion. I didn't get tired of the "downer" past before things were addressed in a way that allowed Ricki and the romance with Axel to develop.

Finally, yes, there is kink here, and there are explicit sexual descriptions. These aren't pornographic: they aren't gratuitous or focused on body parts, even when parts are named or briefly described. The focus of the sex is mental, emotional, physical, and connective. Some romance readers want to go to bed but not see under the covers. If you are one of those readers, don't get this book.

Now that I've mentioned these possible trigger subjects, I can say that the book is very well crafted. Dialogue feels natural, characters are complex, and they and their world change as the story progresses. There are some hints of what might happen in the next book, even though the trilogy novels will be free-standing, meaning the later ones won't require you to read the earlier ones. I felt invested enough in Ricki and Axel that I found myself talking out loud to them at times when I was reading. I even got turned on a few times by the intensity of the sex or the depth of their developing feelings. Good stories and sexy relationships can transcend the reader's orientation if the reader is willing to expand their range and the author is skilled enough.

Cecilia Tan has the storytelling skills to make this contemporary BDSM romance work. This is an intriguing start to her new series that focuses on The Rough (Axel's band) and their sex lives. If this book sounds good to you, follow the link below to get your own copy from Amazon. For other ways to buy it, check out the series page on Cecilia Tan's website.