Raising Our Voices

The United States is going to hell in a handbag.  You may say that’s an opinion but I see it as a fact.  Millions of citizens are losing their access to affordable health insurance. Thousands face probable deportation in five weeks despite the fact that they’re hard working students, employees and service members who pay taxes and are not draining social welfare programs. Social welfare programs that are supposed to be there for the citizens are being drained to benefit corporations.  A hostile foreign power tampers with our free and open elections (a hallmark of democracy if ever there was one) and our elected officials and their toadies deny it all.  Yes, folks, we’re on that express elevator to our doom.

The past several weeks have had me thinking about my family and the environment in which I was raised.  I grew up in a very politically active family.  Both parents sat on the city counsel at one time or another.  I was attending party fundraisers when I was in grade school.  I’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly and as much as it pains me, it gets uglier every year.

One of the reasons the ugliness increases is we no longer want to hold our elected officials accountable.  Some people have given up saying our voices will be drowned out by lobbyists and political action committees.  That is a possibility.  But it’s only possible if we all remain silent.  We need to shout out our message and we need to do it over and over again.  We have to make sure that the voters have the loudest voice and the clearest message.

Now, please don’t tell me that it takes too much time/effort to do this.  This is the twenty-first century, people.  Sending your elected officials an email is incredibly easy.  Want to send your senator a message?  Find their email address here.   Want to tell your representative how you feel about something?  Check Here. Don’t know who your representative is? Find them here,

Afraid you’re not a great writer?  You don’t have to be.  Long, impassioned pleas are not required.  As much as you might like to rant and rave, brevity really is your friend.  Just tell them what you want them to do.  As my high school speech teacher would say, “Make your point. Back it up. Shut up.”  

Need an example?  Below is a letter I’m sending to all the Indiana Republican members of the House of Representatives as well as Senator Todd Young.  I’m also copying Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell just because I want them to know how I feel.  It’s not long; just under 300 words (severely pared down from the original rant and rave) but it includes my complaint and what I want them to do about it. 

If you want a better world, you must demand it. So demand it over and over again.

I’m writing to inform you just how disappointed I am in you and virtually every other Republican in both the House of Representatives and Senate.  My disappointment stems from the appearance that you’re all ignorant of or just don’t give a damn about something we in Indiana learn in grade school.

The three branches of government were created as a system of checks and balances for each other.  The executive branch serves as a check on the judicial branch. The judicial branch is a check on the legislative branch. And the legislative branch is supposed to be a check on the executive branch.  I'm writing to bring it to your attention you've failed miserably.

It is shameful the House and Senate Intelligence and Judiciary committees have given up trying to get to the bottom of the Russian intervention in the 2016 presidential election. It is even worse that they’re now taking steps to actively impede the justice department’s investigation into the same crime and with it the investigation into which Americans were complicit.

I grew up in a politically active family so I understand party loyalty but democracy must be put before party interests.  By refusing to do that, you are complicit.  You are part of the conspiracy that is allowing a hostile foreign power to hold sway over the best interests of the United States.  You are responsible for putting this country’s law enforcement and intelligence services in peril. 

I implore you to grow a spine and start working for the United States.  Stand up to Donald Trump.  Don't be one of his lackeys.  You were not elected to be a sycophant to the liar and bully who inhabits the Oval Office. You were elected to the branch of government that is supposed to be the check and balance over the executive branch.  Now do your job!

Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is

It’s a commonly used phrase.  “Put your money where your mouth is.” In my family the challenge was made when one party was claiming something that another party disbelieved or disagreed with and so a wager ensued.  I know we did this fairly often but the only one I remember clearly is a fifteen cent wager made with my brother about fifty years ago.  In the strictest sense I did win the bet but our dad (the ultimate authority on these things) called it a draw.  A variation I learned many years later is “Money talks and bullshit walks.”  The Urban Dictionary has this to say about that phrase: Means that cheap talk will get you nowhere, while money will persuade people to do as you like.

That is where I find myself now.  Not so much in the fashion of buying influence but in using my dollars wisely and in accordance to my political, ethical and social beliefs.  I love a good bargain as much as the next person but I’m willing to pay a few dollars more at a local retailer instead of a big chain because these are the kinds of businesses I want to support.  And the flip side is true as well.  

I choose not to shop at Hobby Lobby because I don’t agree with their views on healthcare for their employees.  I don’t eat at Chick-Fil-A because of the owners’ anti-LGBT stance.  (Although I do say blessings to the Orlando Chick-Fil-A location who went in on a Sunday, made food and then took it to the folks involved after a lunatic shot up the Pulse Night killing/injuring over 100 people.)  When I found out that the paper towels and toilet paper (Sparkle and Angel Soft respectively) were part of the Georgia Pacific conglomerate owned by the Koch Brothers, I switched to Bounty and Charmin because at this point, Proctor and Gamble have a decent track record.

I’ll admit that I am a huge fan of New Balance Shoes and have been wearing them for years.  They make a style that corrects for a deformity in the way I walk.  The shoes are very rugged and will take a beating.  They’re comfortable, they fit me well and they’re actually made in America.  What’s not to love, right?  What’s not so lovable is that an officer of the company made a Pro-Trump statement to the Wall Street Journal shortly after the presidential election last year.  They’ve attempted to walk it back (pun intended) by saying that they were referring to the Trans-Pacific Partnership trade deal but the timing of their comment leaves much room for doubt.

This morning I sent an email to New Balance to let them know I’d no longer be buying their shoes and why I had come to that decision.  I said that even though they had an excellent product that was manufactured in the U.S.A., I could not support a company that felt the election of Donald Trump was a good thing.  They can publish all the retractions and explanations they want to.  They can shout from the roof tops how they do not “tolerate bigotry or hate in any form.”  If they really want me and others like me to reconsider, they’ll make a tangible show of support for anti-hate groups.  Because as the saying goes, money talks and bullshit walks.

New Balance, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is.

An Open Letter to Donald Trump

Dear Mr. Trump;

I want to start with a confession.  I didn’t vote for you in the 2016 presidential election.  That shouldn’t surprise you since an overwhelming majority of voters didn’t either but I just wanted to be clear that I’m not part of that “landslide” by which you claim that you won.

Let’s start with a few of the obvious reasons I refused to vote for you:

1. Your complete lack of morals.
2. Your complete lack of political experience
3. Your complete lack of leadership skills.  (No, being a big shot CEO doesn’t count.  Not when it involves the lying, cheating and foisting off responsibility for your mistakes to the taxpayers of this country.)

But let’s get down to where the fork meets the grits.  You see, what bothered me most was that you never had a plan… or at least one you could clearly state.  You said you had plans, great plans, plans that would benefit Americans muchly.  I find it difficult to vote for someone if I don’t understand what’s going on inside their heads.  And all I could see inside your head was a hot mess of half-truths, whole lies, and overwhelming narcissism.

One of those lies was when you said you were going to “drain the swamp” of Washington insiders.  You didn’t drain the swamp.  You did, however, put a whole new shine on the concept of cronyism.  I look at your choices of cabinet members and see how stupid you are.  You see, a smart person knows their limitations and surrounds himself with people who  don’t have those limitations and then actively listens to what they have to say.  You have chosen people who don’t know anything about the positions they’ve been nominated for.  An Attorney General who doesn’t even know what constitutes ‘assault’?  An energy secretary who once claimed that he wanted to do away with the department?  Okay, technically he never actually said it because he suffered a brain cramp and couldn’t even remember what it was that he was against.  An education secretary who thinks that we should do away with public education?  These are not people who will be able to knowledgeably guide you during your tenure.  They’re glory hounds, just like you.  They have two things in common.  They’re lacking in the necessary skills/experience to do the job adequately.  And they’re totally willing to kiss your fake-tanned ass.  

You lied about saving jobs at Carrier Corp. and Ford Motor Company.  You lied about knowing more than all the intelligence services combined when you said you knew more about Russians interfering with a presidential election.  You lied about building a wall and making Mexico pay for it.  And you lied when you said Alec Baldwin’s impersonation of you on Saturday Night Live wasn’t funny.  Actually it isn’t funny.  It was downright hysterical!  And I’m willing to bet that every time he goes on SNL, he remembers this little scene from The Hunt for Red October.   

https://youtu.be/YvDcJydVcHo  

Being a cheat and a liar is no way to return this country to greatness as you claim you want to do.  This is why I’m writing; to tell you that I intend to do everything in my power to limit the amount of damage you’re going to do to this country that I live in and I love.  I will call and write senators and congressmen daily.  I will post on social media several times a day.  I will join with others who feel the same way I do and together we will be the ones to bring greatness to the United States of America.

One last thing, Mr. Trump.  I was raised in a politically active family back in the day when there was civility in politics.  And my mother pounded into my soul the notion that whoever occupied the White House should be referred to as “President  <last name>”.  You don’t refer to them only by last name (Obama, Reagan, Kennedy) or a clever twist on their name (Shrub instead of Bush) because they are due the respect of the office.  You, however, have made such a mockery of the office, and you aren’t yet even the president, that I have a difficult time associating the respected office with the name Trump.  In The American President, Aaron Sorkin writes that being president is all about character.  Truer words were never spoken.  For decades, you have demonstrated that you have none.  People of character do not renege on business contracts just to make a higher profit.  They don’t con people out of large sums of money to “teach” them the ins and outs of real estate. They don’t insult journalists, parents of fallen service men, or members of the LGBTQ community. They don’t assault women and brag about it.  (And despite what Jeff Sessions says, what you advocate doing is assault.)  Therefore after the inauguration, I will refer to you as President Pussygrabber because it’s the office that deserves the respect and not you.

Disrespectfully yours,

Lisa

Context and Intent

Oh dear.  I was really hoping I’d be able to get through this election cycle without feeling the need to come here and start kicking butts.  However, now people have pushed me past my limits and ironically enough, that’s why I’m so pissed off.  Today’s blog is about limits and people who do or do not respect them.

Donald Trump, self proclaimed billionaire (not that we’ll ever know since he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry to release his tax returns) is the Republican nominee for President of the United States.  He got this nomination despite the fact that he’s a misogynist, a narcissist, a racist, a sexist, and a blow-hard who has no respect for anyone but himself… and Vladimir Putin… and possibly his tax advisors.   He’s mocked women, the disabled, and the LGBTQ community with abandon and yet, there he is still running for president.

Ah, but wait, maybe he won’t be for long.  Maybe his comments about grabbing women’s pussies and kissing beautiful women without giving them a say in the matter will finally sink him.  Dare we hope?  No, it appears that his fan club is still rooting for him.  Sunday in my Facebook feed I saw one meme posted and reposted by a number of people.  According to this meme, they don’t seem to understand why people are offended by Trump’s words and yet made Fifty Shades of Grey a best seller.  Seriously?  You can’t figure this out?  Okay I’m about to explain it to you so read carefully,

It’s all about context and intent.  

As George Carlin reminded us a few decades ago words on their own are useful tools but not inherently offensive.  It’s how they’re used that becomes problematic.  'Snatch', 'Box', and 'Pussy' are slang terms for female genitalia.  But you could be taking about a cat that needs to go to the vets office when you say, "Snatch that pussy and put her in a box."  

to use them to say that you can and do sexually assault women is beyond the pale of anyone, let alone a person running for elected.  Equating this to extremely badly written mommy porn is ludicrous.  I am aware that there are scenes in Fifty Shades where the heroine’s limits are violated.  Many people have written about that and taken the author to task over it.  However, the vast majority of people who read the book weren’t aware that would be happening when they bought it.  

Then there's the excuse that what he said was just locker room talk.  Plenty of athletes, both professional and recreational have put that fallacy to rest.  But even if it had been just the same kinds of things that guys talk about in the locker room, it's still not right.  As my mother would say, just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't make it right.  

And so dear readers, that’s what it’s all about.  Context.  Intent.  On the one hand we have people who read a work of fiction that describes sexual scenes between consenting (most of the time) adults.  On the other hand, we have a very high profile businessman who is now running for the office of president, describing how he can and does get away with a crime.  

‘Snatch', 'Box', 'Pussy’, ‘Twat’,‘Cunt’ ; the words are not the issue.  It would be no different if he said he grabs women’s genitals or their vulvas.  It’s not the words.  It’s the intent.  It’s the context.  Donald Trump used a slang expression to describe how he commits sexual battery against women.  And that makes all the difference in the world.

What Sin, a Name?

When I was in elementary school, I had a friend named Colleen.  At least, I thought her name was Colleen.  Come to find out her first name was actually Marliss but Colleen was her middle name and that was the one she used.  I learned this in third grade when a substitute teacher continually referred to her as Marliss and she refused to answer to anything but Colleen.  And at that young age, I began to formulate a pattern that would stick with me all my life.  I address people by the name they choose, not the name I choose.

This pattern has not been without problem... like when my cousin grew older and chose to go by Don instead of Donnie.  But as a rule, if you introduce yourself to me as Robert, I will not call you Rob or Bobby.  And if there’s any possibility of confusion, I ask for clarification.

As I got older and started associating with people in so-call alternative communities, this policy got a little trickier. You see, that pagan over there probably doesn’t have the name Starfire on her birth certificate. And that big burly leather man in the dungeon who asked me to call him Master Zeus? I suspect his driver’s license lists a completely different moniker.  The woman I know from a particular fandom doesn’t file her taxes under the name of Icecat but that’s how everyone refers to her.  And, of course, on the internet lots of people use different names which vexes Mark Zuckerberg.

Several months ago, Facebook enacted a policy requiring people to use their legal name on their profile or else they’d be shut down.  Some people complied. Others decided to take a chance and leave it.  And the drag queens fought back.  At the beginning of this controversy, my opinion was that it was all about the money.  When this dust up started, Facebook created a policy whereby one could purchase a separate page for an “alternate name”.  However, as events have unfolded, I’m beginning to rethink that.  I’m still convinced that there’s a certain commercial aspect to it, but it’s also so arbitrary and capricious that it’s designed to invite abuse.

In fact, the very arbitrary nature of the policy (they rely on Facebook users to report “violations”) makes it completely ridiculous.  Just because a name appears “different” doesn’t mean it isn’t that person’s legal name.  I know a guy who is working on getting his name legally changed to Sir because he thinks it would be cool to sign documents with Sir Formerfirstname Lastname.  For the sake of argument, let’s say the courts grant his petition. What’s Facebook going to do with that?  Not everyone is named Dick or Jane.  Penn Jillette (the “Penn” in Penn & Teller) named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter.  Gwyneth Paltrow has a daughter named Apple.  

A few years ago a pregnant co-worker was trying to choose a name for her baby.  She started making a list of all the names she couldn’t use because other family members had gotten to them first.  In jest, a few of us started suggesting more “unusual” names from the legal documents we saw everyday, and thus, a second list was born.  Look at the names below and try to guess which one isn’t from that list  

Chasity

Orien

Eustorgio

Servillano

Anunciada

Velveeta

Angaleathia

Whiskey

LaGlissa

Jariot

Trick question.  They’re all from the list.  And this points out a major flaw in Facebook’s policy.  Just because someone sees a name and thinks ‘that can’t be their legal name’, doesn’t mean that it isn’t.  And even if it wasn’t, what does it matter and who cares?

Oh yeah, Mark Zuckerberg cares.  During the height Facebook -vs- Drag Queens, Zuckerberg published his thoughts on the matter saying that having multiple identities is unethical. I would agree with him but he’s entirely missing the point.  There is a difference between an identity and a persona and most of us do have multiple personas.  We’re chameleons, adapting to our environment.  Sometimes we give those personas a different name for various reasons and there’s nothing wrong with that.

As my attorney said to me when my ex-husband and I divorced, you can call yourself anything you like as long as you’re not doing it to commit fraud.  Yes, there is a lot of fraud committed on the internet.  But Facebook is tilting at windmills if they think they can singlehandedly wipe it out just by requiring profiles to list someone’s legal name.  And they’re ethically challenged when they create policies that discriminate against any group of people.

I actually started writing this piece months ago and the day before it was to go live, Facebook announced that they would no longer enforce their “real names” policy.  Dang, a perfectly good blog down the drain.  I even joked to a friend that I don’t complain when people/corporations do the right thing but that in this case, I could possibly make an exception. Fortunately for the story, and unfortunately for those involved, yesterday I learned that Facebook is at it again.  Last time it seemed to be primarily drag queens.  This time it’s pagans. Next time it may be left-handed twelve year olds from Mozambique.  It doesn’t matter. It’s discrimination and it’s wrong.  

For more information on the latest round of discrimination, check out this article or this FB post.  If you believe that Facebook shouldn’t discriminate against anyone especially based on such a convoluted policy, go sign this petition.