What Sin, a Name?

When I was in elementary school, I had a friend named Colleen.  At least, I thought her name was Colleen.  Come to find out her first name was actually Marliss but Colleen was her middle name and that was the one she used.  I learned this in third grade when a substitute teacher continually referred to her as Marliss and she refused to answer to anything but Colleen.  And at that young age, I began to formulate a pattern that would stick with me all my life.  I address people by the name they choose, not the name I choose.

This pattern has not been without problem... like when my cousin grew older and chose to go by Don instead of Donnie.  But as a rule, if you introduce yourself to me as Robert, I will not call you Rob or Bobby.  And if there’s any possibility of confusion, I ask for clarification.

As I got older and started associating with people in so-call alternative communities, this policy got a little trickier. You see, that pagan over there probably doesn’t have the name Starfire on her birth certificate. And that big burly leather man in the dungeon who asked me to call him Master Zeus? I suspect his driver’s license lists a completely different moniker.  The woman I know from a particular fandom doesn’t file her taxes under the name of Icecat but that’s how everyone refers to her.  And, of course, on the internet lots of people use different names which vexes Mark Zuckerberg.

Several months ago, Facebook enacted a policy requiring people to use their legal name on their profile or else they’d be shut down.  Some people complied. Others decided to take a chance and leave it.  And the drag queens fought back.  At the beginning of this controversy, my opinion was that it was all about the money.  When this dust up started, Facebook created a policy whereby one could purchase a separate page for an “alternate name”.  However, as events have unfolded, I’m beginning to rethink that.  I’m still convinced that there’s a certain commercial aspect to it, but it’s also so arbitrary and capricious that it’s designed to invite abuse.

In fact, the very arbitrary nature of the policy (they rely on Facebook users to report “violations”) makes it completely ridiculous.  Just because a name appears “different” doesn’t mean it isn’t that person’s legal name.  I know a guy who is working on getting his name legally changed to Sir because he thinks it would be cool to sign documents with Sir Formerfirstname Lastname.  For the sake of argument, let’s say the courts grant his petition. What’s Facebook going to do with that?  Not everyone is named Dick or Jane.  Penn Jillette (the “Penn” in Penn & Teller) named his daughter Moxie Crimefighter.  Gwyneth Paltrow has a daughter named Apple.  

A few years ago a pregnant co-worker was trying to choose a name for her baby.  She started making a list of all the names she couldn’t use because other family members had gotten to them first.  In jest, a few of us started suggesting more “unusual” names from the legal documents we saw everyday, and thus, a second list was born.  Look at the names below and try to guess which one isn’t from that list  

Chasity

Orien

Eustorgio

Servillano

Anunciada

Velveeta

Angaleathia

Whiskey

LaGlissa

Jariot

Trick question.  They’re all from the list.  And this points out a major flaw in Facebook’s policy.  Just because someone sees a name and thinks ‘that can’t be their legal name’, doesn’t mean that it isn’t.  And even if it wasn’t, what does it matter and who cares?

Oh yeah, Mark Zuckerberg cares.  During the height Facebook -vs- Drag Queens, Zuckerberg published his thoughts on the matter saying that having multiple identities is unethical. I would agree with him but he’s entirely missing the point.  There is a difference between an identity and a persona and most of us do have multiple personas.  We’re chameleons, adapting to our environment.  Sometimes we give those personas a different name for various reasons and there’s nothing wrong with that.

As my attorney said to me when my ex-husband and I divorced, you can call yourself anything you like as long as you’re not doing it to commit fraud.  Yes, there is a lot of fraud committed on the internet.  But Facebook is tilting at windmills if they think they can singlehandedly wipe it out just by requiring profiles to list someone’s legal name.  And they’re ethically challenged when they create policies that discriminate against any group of people.

I actually started writing this piece months ago and the day before it was to go live, Facebook announced that they would no longer enforce their “real names” policy.  Dang, a perfectly good blog down the drain.  I even joked to a friend that I don’t complain when people/corporations do the right thing but that in this case, I could possibly make an exception. Fortunately for the story, and unfortunately for those involved, yesterday I learned that Facebook is at it again.  Last time it seemed to be primarily drag queens.  This time it’s pagans. Next time it may be left-handed twelve year olds from Mozambique.  It doesn’t matter. It’s discrimination and it’s wrong.  

For more information on the latest round of discrimination, check out this article or this FB post.  If you believe that Facebook shouldn’t discriminate against anyone especially based on such a convoluted policy, go sign this petition.